Freedom

Wildfire smoke moving in on the sun 7/21/18

I was driving away from the heavily smoke filled sky that suffocating July day.  When wildfire smoke moves in like that, it can be hard to imagine that the sky is still blue above as ash rains down, eyes burn, you can feel the smoke in your lungs. I knew it was unhealthy to be in the thick smoke limiting visibility to about a 1/4 mile, so I bolted home, further trapping myself indoors.

Exactly a year ago, I was suffocating much in the same way. I remember looking up at the ceiling, feeling like I was trapped inside of myself. I had gone through some difficult experiences, but I had never had that suffocating feeling. I knew then that I was in the thick of it and I'd get the lesson at some point, but I didn't even recognize this feeling. Anxiety? PTSD? Probably.

That awful feeling was the impetus to set my soul on the path I know I am to follow. After a full year of living uncertainty each and every day, a decision was to be made today to end most of that uncertainty. I posted this photo to Instagram with the caption: "When you can be at peace, no matter the outcome, because you know you've done your inner work, you know the direction your soul is moving and you keep peace and love at the helm...that's freedom."